When I look back at photos of HRH as a baby I think ‘what did we miss?’, or ‘could we have detected his autism sooner?’. I try not to, it is fruitless, but I end up doing it anyway. I also find myself looking at those photos in a wistful way because we didn’t ‘know’. His future, in my head, was different then.
I border on being an eternal optimist so it is unusual for me to have regrets. My one regret with regard to HRH is that we waited for 5 months before taking matters into our own hands. 5 months that we could have been having intervention. 5 months where I believed that our public health system would look after us in a timely manner. Over a year later we have had little help and had to fight for that which we have received.
I look forward to the time I can browse his baby photographs and only see the gorgeous little boy, without searching for 'early signs'. I also intend to work my
Please don't misunderstand, I do not feel I have failed my son. I just feel sad sometimes, you know?
Written for The Gallery at Sticky Fingers and Writing Workshop at Sleep is for the Weak.