HRH was released from hospital on Tuesday. He has a temporary type of arthritis in his hip. There is a 95% recovery rate, without reoccurance. He continues not to walk but he will do in his own time. We can't push him to walk, if we do he may get scared and confused and take much longer to get back on his feet. We have a check up with our consultant in a month, to track his progress.
There was an incident last week with this consultant and I am furious about it. On Thursday evening the consultant swooped into the room and hauled HRH off the bed. He started tickling him and bouncing him around. He then put HRH on the floor and waited for him to run away in fear. HRH's little legs were shaking with the effort of standing up and probably a healthy dose of sheer terror. He managed to slide one foot along the floor a few inches, then the other. I intervened and supported him and he managed something that didn't resemble walking, but he did manage to move forward.
The consultant turned to me and said "He can walk. There is nothing wrong with that child, he is choosing not to walk because he is autistic". I am still enraged at his attitude and treatment of HRH and finding it very hard to move on. Unfortunately this is the 'gentleman' we have to see when we return for our checkup. However, if HRH requires further treatment or tests we will be transferred to another consultant as his diagnosis is not an Ortho case, it is a Rheumatology case.
I am shocked that any adult in such a position would treat any child this way, never mind an autistic child. But to then use his autism as an excuse and use it against us..........well that takes a very 'special' person. I really want to swear so please note the massive sarcasm I have used in referring to this person.
Has anything like this ever happened to you and your child?
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48 comments:
Does your hospital have a PALS (Patient Liason Service)? If so you should speak to them! Thats appauling that someone in his authority should act in that manner. Definately look at speaking to them hun because thats not on! I'm not suprised its still upsetting you!
That is outrageous! I definitely think you should follow it up, particularly as he is the consultant you have to see again. No wonder you are so upset.
I would be following up with a very stiff letter of complaint if someone did that to Max.
Glad you're both home now. :) x
Screw that! I would be reporting him to whomever he reports to and demanding a different consultant. I don't give a crap what their policy is, or if he's the only one, he's not touching my kid again. What a shithead!!!
...end rant
I'm SO glad he's home and that the prognosis is good. I know it's been a rough time for you, and I'm glad ...strike that...THRILLED that your worst fears weren't realized. (((hugs)))
Good job, Mum!!!
There was a lot of eye rolling from the Nurses, they didn't seem to surprised. I did request a meeting with the Social Worker after the incident and let her know what happened and asked for advice on 'what next' because this fella was trying to send us home without answers.
I need to be more calm before I take any further action, that could take a while! I should also probably wait until after I have had to see him again and we are transferred to another consultant.
Thanks for commenting, it is lovely to be back into the blogging scene, I have so much to catch up on!
Jen
When GL was about four, a doctor in Genetics, without asking or telling him what he was doing, pulled down GL's pants and palpated his testicles. Then began asking him questions. When GL wouldn't answer, the doctor told us he was nonverbal. We tried to tell him that GL could talk, he was just feeling intimidated. Dr. insisted he was nonverbal and we were in denial. At home, GL was already using words like "perspective". But what do we know, we're just his parents.
This is unacceptable behaviour in any circumstances. Sounds to me as though he was trying to hide his own inadequacy. I am glad you are home and hope that you do see some improvement.
Jen I'm so sorry this happened to you. What an idiot. Please do follow up with the hospital. He should never have treated HRH that way. I would be fuming...I don't know how you're doing it. If there is any way of going to another consultant, do! Past behavior is indicative of future behavior.
I'm sorry I don't mean to be all preachy...I just can' get over how someone so smart can be so stupid.
Hugs to you and yours.
What a prat! I'm so sorry you had to come face to face with such idiocy. I hope when you have calmed down you will feel better able to follow this up as it really is outrageous. Really glad that you are all home, lots of love to you. xxx
Jen that's terrible! Poor HRH he must've been terrified, but that the dr should come in and do that without even at the very least warning you as parents is bloody digusting. Don't wait til you feel calm honey complain now, when you're all fired up! THere have got to be other drs that can take the case on and review HRH in a few months.
And hooray that you're home! And hooray for 95% recovery rate, brilliant news, hope he's back up and about soon xxx
Hugs to you Jen. I can't imagine this happening to you and to HRH. I'm glad that you want to follow through with complaining about him because maybe that will stop him from treating another child in that way. Let us know what happens...
I'm so glad that you got some answers and that you will get to see a different doctor! Good luck to you and to HRH as he starts to heal. Hopefully he will be getting better very soon!
Sorry to hear about your bad experience. I had a similar experience about a year ago when a consultant psychiatrist said that because our son was autistic, he wouldn't be able to benefit from other therapies because he compartmentalises his life. He might do but I was not impressed that his autism was used as an excuse not to try other therapies.
If you have the energy, I would definitely consider questioning the behaviour of this consultant. x
I'm so sorry--how crappy!
It does sound like the diagnosis was the best possible scenario though, so thank goodness for that! I hope your son has a speedy recovery!
Thanks everyone for commenting.
@AspieInTheFamily, that is shocking! So sorry to hear that happened,that was just an excuse because most things are worth at least trying! We don't know what will work with our children until we try!
Thanks Cheryl.
@TheHenrys, thanks. Looking forward to catching up on your blog and hearing about Gracie:)
@Podgypixiejo, going to wait until we are no longer under his care, last thing I need is for him to have a real reason to be rotten to us!!
@Papabear, he should never have done that without telling your son what was going to happen! I am speechless!
@Christine, Lisbeth and Jen, thanks ladies :)
Jen
OK, I am now livid on your behalf. I have to say I would have been sorely tempted to slam the doctor's hand in a door and then tell him the only reason he wasn't holding his pen and writing was because he didn't WANT to. Yeah, I've got a vindictive streak when people hurt my kids.
Glad it's something with such a good prognosis, but I'm sure the waiting will be excruciating. And is there ever to be an answer as to WHY this flared up in the first place?
Hugs to you!
Jen, I am so glad that you are all home and that it is not something really horrible.
Don;t get me going on consultants, between my mum and my son, I've had my fair share of ropey doctor situations. Ireland is small though, so take your time thinking about how you handle it.
At least the new intake of doctors have to learn a lot more practical tips on dealing with patients.
Now, I find I just write my bad experiences into stories, very therapeutic.
Thank goodness you're home at long last and I am speechless to how that 'consultant' treated you. I find it amazing he ever got a job in the first place with children.
I agree with the others, calm down before you do anything and if you can let it go. Just in case you have to see him again. Big hugs to you all xx
Jen, I am so glad you are home, and that it isn't the worst case scenario. No more stinky stranger feet or hospital food! WOOT!
As for the other, well, you know my story of doctors not taking hubby and I seriously when it came to Mad-hatter's issues, so I don't need to reiterate really.. OH, I DID have a doctor when Bubba was two, sit on his legs and hold him down roughly for a vaccination. He then went on to state that a behavioral center should turn him into an "Upstanding Citizen" in no time. ??!!
Hugs to all of you.
Jen I'm so sorry you've had to go through all this (and HRH too) - I really think you should make a complaint, and sooner rather than later. I think it's more convenient for the consultant to use HRH's autism as an excuse for the problem if he can't come up with another diagnosis. There is absolutely no need for you to accept that - you are entitled to make a complaint or to request to see another consultant at this point.
In the meantime, so glad he's back home again and hope that you get some answers in the future, and more importantly, that he improves and gets back to normal.
Hugs to all xxxx
That's is just shocking! So sorry you guys had to experience this.
Pleased to hear you are home and that the future looks positive though.
Hugs and kisses
@Varda, I just might use that line about the door if he starts off on the autism excuse again!
@Brigid, that is part of it, Ireland being so small. But isn't that the problem too? Everyone is afraid to speak up in case it comes back to bite them. That just says it all really!
@HateSocks, don't suppose there is any chance he can be an upstanding citizen with autism, is there??!!
@Mari, we do have to see him again, that is why I haven't done anything so far.
@Beth, we will be transferred to another consultant if further treatment is needed, the other consultant is lovely, as were all the rest of the staff at the hospital.
@PhotoPuddle, thanks:)
Jen
That was just cruel, both to HRH and to you as his Mum :( I hope you can get some satisfaction xx
Ok Jen, I know you are in another country but I think your guy must be a relative of one of our pediatricians! When Faith was a baby before she got her G tube, feeding her was a two hour ordeal. Our regular ped. was out of town and she got sick and we couldn't keep anything down. I took her in and the OLD ped. (who must have been 75) looked at her, saw her dx and when I explained that we couldn't get her to eat..said, "just stop feeding her, she'll eat when she gets hungry, she just being stubborn." I was so angry I almost hit him! An 11 month old with brain damage,seizures and a brain tumor...who never could coordinate eating...was just being stubborn! Could have killed him and I told him he was a fool and shouldn't be seeing kids!
I'd file a complaint with the hospital but it wouldn't satisfy me doing so. I dislike anyone in the medical profession due to my own HORRID experiences. Glad to hear you got an answer. I hope he is back on his feet soon! I bet you're glad to be home!
So often the doctors really think they know it all and they don't, they don't know our children the way we do. I know we don't know their insides and we didn't do a zillion medical years but WE KNOW OUR CHILDREN, where do they get off doing this sort of thing. The number of times I have seen a doctor and said "she has a ..." and they say leave it 2 weeks and come back, and you go back and say the same thing and in the end they listen. You knew he had a problem not an 'austic' issue. I would want to remind him of it every time I saw the blessed man again. So happy that you have a diagnosis, so very pleased you are home and so angry for you that you were let down by the doctor. It will all come good in the end xxx
I'm glad the news on the medical front is encouraging. I hate hearing how awful the doctor was. I think there will always be those who fail to understand our children, but for a "professional" to act that way is unacceptable. Still, I do understand your reluctance to act before he sees HRH again. Those of us in the U.S. are spoiled and forget that you have national health care that limits your options. We had a bad experience with a psychiatrist that resulted in my daughter no longer trusting doctors. I still get mad when I think about it. Some people just should not treat children period.
Best wishes for a speedy recovery for HRH!
Sending prayers and hugs,
Sue
That is awful-and yes..I did have something very similar happen with Sammy and his constantly infected ears. One specialist told me that "There was nothing wrong with him-and that kids LIKE him tended to be whiny and wanting attention" I felt so incompetent and foolish..sad to say I listened...about a month later, I took him to another specialist as he had kept complaining..he wound up having surgery on both of his ears...*sigh*...
I am so glad the prognosis is good-and that you are back home where you all belong. I bet that your coffee maker missed you. :)
Jen, I am probably your newest follower. I was so relieved to hear your son has a temporary condition that will heal in time, especially after all the testing and the worst case scenarios you were given. The time you have spent in the hospital with a child would wear anyone out. Glad there is relief!
I understand that you must see this person again before getting on to another consultant and that you will get rid of him at the appropriate time. In the meantime, IMHO I would not put any credence in anything this particular person (loathe to call him a "doctor") has for you. I honestly believe that not just his rude remark but the tickling was inappropriate. Tickling can be a weird form of abuse - especially when the child cannot clearly communicate his feelings about it. So sorry for the whole ordeal. Wishing you lots of peaceful dreams in your own bed.
Thankfully, we've always been treated with respect. This is outrageous. If someone wanted to "test" your kid by distracting him, they at least needed to get your permission. What an ass.
So glad this turned out to be something likely to go away. You've been through quite an ordeal.
I have not read all the comments because I am sitting here with steam coming out of my ears! What an arrogant arsehole!
If he had done that to my son I would have grabbed him by his gonads, given them a vicious twist, and whilst he lay on the floor writhing in pain I would have told him "Can't walk? That's because you are a moron and choose not to. It is not because you are now a man with no balls!"
Ooooh, I am just so incredibly angry at this!
That is appalling I would follow it up speak to PALS and demand to see someone else at the month check up. Refuse to see him, we do with some GP's in the doctors surgery. What an absolute git.
I would be furious I totally understand why you are! Good luck and glad you are home xx
Wow! What an A-Hole!
Glad HRH is on the mend, tho.
So sorry to hear what you have been through Jen, it's scary.
Glad he is feeling better.
As far as doctors' (or nurses) attitudes for that matter, there is no excuse. I wouldn't let it pass and I would write a letter.
At times as a health care professional myself, I know that there are times when reactions of ours can be taken the wrong way, or when once in a blue moon we make an inappropriate comment. The fact that the nurses were rolling their eyes tells me this is not a one off.
Hugs.
I'm not surprised you're finding it hard to move on Jen. Would writing a letter to said "gentleman" help in anyway? I know it helps me when I feel that any of my family have been incorrectly or insensitively handled by a medical practitioner. It also may help to have your "concerns" officially stated in writing before your next visit ;-)
Good luck!
xx Jazzy
Holy crap, I am so glad that HRH will recover fine. But this guy sounds like a prick! Sorry you had to go through that. The only comments I have ever had like that have come from parents who like too talk out the wrong end if you get me. Not from anyone in the professional field.Hugs my friend!!!
Sorry to hear about this idiot encounter... but really glad thing are looking up again :)
You should write a letter to complain. Hope things get better quickly
OMG, that is atrocious and totally unacceptable behavior for a professional or anyone for that matter! To use autism as a reason for HRH's physical limitations then to not even acknowledge that he even has them is absurd and I am sorry that you've had to go through this. Hugs!
We have had dr's make stupid comments to us, and I have not gone back to those dr's again. Ignorance is alive and well, even in the medical profession.
Awwww...that is awful. Poor guy is in real pain. I'm so glad that you are home and that the prognosis is good!
Yikes! Yes...I am continually amazed at how ignorant people can be. So glad to hear that the prognosis is good though (even though you have to put up with idiots along the way.)
This was painful - to read and know you experienced it. Others have said the best ideas for what to do next but I especially congratulate you on deciding to wait until you are less emotional. Certain physician specialties are known for their poor bedside manner (here) and orthopedists are only out-ranked by neurosurgeons. Hoping you get better interaction from the rheumatologist.
95% is pretty good odds, thankfully. Meantime this all must be very confusing for HRH.
<3 Barbara
I have no such qualms: what a bastard! That's abusive, imo. I think you should complain in writing to the hospital's general manager.
Sorry to hear about HRH's troubles x
OMG the insanity of this man
What a terrible thing to happen! I hope that HRH is on the mend, at least a bit.
Oh my blood is just boiling from this post. What an idiot. I feel bad for people that live in such ignorance and don't see the amazing in our children. I hope things are going okay, you haven't posted in a bit and that makes me nervous. Hugs to you my friend.
F*cker. If you won't swear then I will!
Some doctors are just aresholes, they think they know everything. So glad you got everything figured out, at least, but it must be so worrying. If you need any help researching the medical stuff that he has going on drop me an email. I'm not a doctor but I have a science background.
The US health system may have its many many problems, but one good thing (if you have insurance of course) is that you have complete choice over who you see. If you don't like a doctor, then you just don;t use him or her. We have a lot more choice. I wonder if maybe doctors behave better as a result?
Sending get well soon wishes for HRH
Just realized I never commented on this, but I did read it! Just don't want my bloggy BFF to think I wasn't here! I am shocked and angry for you and HRH. But no, we are lucky that nothing like this has happened to us. And I am so glad to hear that HRH will recover with hopefully, fingers crossed, no recurring problems.
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Lovely to hear from you.